sometimes grief is clean, it makes sense
a death, going through a breakup
those are griefs that you can talk about
others understand

then there’s grief that’s messy
that you don’t share as often
there’s complexity and shame
to share would be a risk

a loved one in jail, getting fired from a job
the misdeeds of another that costs you
broken trust, the loss of someone living
releasing a dream or vision of your life

it’s not five stages
it’s five hundred moments of secondary emotions
surprising you at every turn
hovering just under the surface

at work, at a wedding shower
on Halloween, when you see an old photo
it’s just waiting to say
remember that loss?

comparing suffering benefits no one
but sometimes you wish for the clean grief
the kind where it fits in a box
and tears are easily explained