What if suicide intervention is unkind?

It’s always moving to see the swarm of people wrapping their arms around a total stranger to keep him from jumping off the bridge. The love and hope that one human can share with another – to cling to life for them when they can’t do it alone. 

and

After that stranger has been rescued and the ambulance has taken him away and we’ve brushed our hands of his fate and gone back to our lives, secure in our hero status, then what? 

Do those heroes stick around to offer a ride when he’s discharged from his involuntary stay at the psych unit? Do they help foot the astronomical bill? Do they help him pick up his prescriptions and call around to make sure the meds are in stock at that pharmacy? Do they sit and help him fill out the financial aid application when his insurance won’t cover the medications? Do they give him a room in his basement when the shelters are full and he needs an address in order to get a state ID, in order to apply for a job, in order to fill out that financial aid application? Do they help him gather documentation and apply for Medicaid and food stamps? Do they invite him to their next barbeque or babysit his kids and help fill his social needs? Maybe he has a warrant for past crimes, maybe he trouble with substance use, maybe he has complicated, ongoing health or mental health needs – then what?

What about the teen we admitted for suicidal ideations? The teen who has told and told and told about abuse happening at home, who was thriving outside of the home and on her way to a meaningful life until the system placed her back in the home with her abuser. The teen who called child protective services on herself over and over, who begged the adults around her not to send her back, saying that she would kill herself if she was sent back. But we didn’t listen. We sent her back into danger. Then we admitted her to the hospital when she attempted suicide, which only exacerbated her mental health issues, sending her further in a spiral. 

It feels rather cruel to block someone’s only escape without offering another route. To force someone to stay, even when staying is utter hell.

Suicide prevention isn’t “reach out if you need help” and “it’s okay to not be okay”. Most people know that. Many have been reaching out for help.

Stable housing is suicide prevention. Liveable wages are suicide prevention. Access to quality, affordable healthcare and mental health services is suicide prevention. Social support and belonging are suicide prevention. Ending messages of toxic masculinity that cause men to suffer in silence is suicide prevention. Having a village is suicide prevention. Trustworthy childcare is suicide prevention.

Suicide prevention is wrapping our figurative arms around our neighbor long before we need to wrap our physical arms around them on the bridge.